Addressing an envelope to a widow how to#
Addressing an envelope to a widow full#

Don’t tell me you understand how I feel, or that you can imagine the pain I am going through, unless you have lost the love of your life.

Trying to deal with someone else’s reaction or discomfort is the last thing I need, so if someone needs to know it would be good if you could explain it to them.

Addressing an envelope to a widow full#

I’m working full time to deal with my emotions.

It is really hard for me to tell other people about my loss.

Just allowing me to do it, and allowing me to feel what I need to feel means so much.

Let me try to tell you what is going on inside me.

If you don’t know many, find out some from those who are too scared to approach me now.

Tell me all your stories of when my love was sweet, courageous, rotten or funny.

Changing the subject, trying to stop me crying just makes me hold everything inside, and eats away at me.

Once you have allowed me to open up or cry, please don’t change the subject or try to stop me. I know you feel uncomfortable that I am in pain.

Hand me a tissue, and do your best to sit quietly and let me cry. Your acceptance that I need to cry and your permission to allow me to is one of the best gifts you can give me. I want to show you his/her picture, tell you how wonderful (s)he was. I want to tell you how we met, our last days, and everything in between. I may suddenly go quiet mid-laugh, when hit by a sudden reminder, but I desperately need to continue to laugh. In fact, I may never work with the same intensity again as my perspectives of what is important and what isn’t has been changed permanently.

I will not be fully-functional at work for a long time.

Sometimes it so hard for me to respond to phone calls or letters or emails, but I truly appreciate that you are doing it, so please don’t stop just because I don’t respond.

This is coming from deep inside me and intelligence and self control have no effect.

I am hypersensitive and will often be offended by things you say to try and make me feel better.

Often I may not have a clue as to what I want, but it only takes a moment for me to realize what I don’t want.

Sometimes I will be snappy, and often I will be totally lost in myself. Some days I will keep myself totally occupied in an attempt to escape.

Some days I just want to curl up in bed and do nothing.

Sometimes I need silent company. Sometimes I need all of these things in the space of 5 minutes. One minute I might be laughing, the next I may be in tears.

I am going through tidal waves of emotion.

I forget what I was going to do. I forget everything except that my love has gone. Small details are overwhelming. I just don’t want to know about it right now.

I am trying to comprehend the incomprehensible. I am trying to understand what has happened.

My mind is totally occupied with processing my loss.

A horrible, gut-wrenching, intense, unimaginable, and indescribable pain.

Addressing an envelope to a widow how to#

My lover, my best friend, my whole life. Either you have stumbled across this because you want to find out how to help me, or I have given this to you. I have lost the one I love, the one I cherish. Nobody knows who the original author was or where it came from but what’s certain, its one of the most read posts we have.

Several years ago the following letter was shared onto our forums.